Dear Older Self, When you turned fifty five, you exclaimed at your family birthday party, “I love being 55!” One family member, 30 years younger than you, gasped in surprise, “You do? Really?” You did love being 55. You loved being 55 because you could look back and see so much grace. You loved it because of the hard won wisdom you had gained. You looked back and saw the healing that had … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Accept old age
Note to Self: Be open to love
Dear Older Self, Your 97 year old friend who said, “ I think I am learning to let go of pride, in order to get ready for heaven,” spoke with a clarity that startled you. For her, pride had been a form of defensiveness. It had been her attempt to stay in control by always being on the giving end of things and rarely on the receiving end. Her pride was her attempt to push away vulnerability by … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Be open to love
Note to Self: Practice humility
Dear Older Self, You may find yourself resisting the changes and growing vulnerabilities of aging because of fear. But you might also find yourself resisting because of feelings of shame. Shame is that belief that if people knew you fully, they would reject you. It is that feeling that you are less-than others. Or the sense that your needs make you look weak and unloveable. You know how … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Practice humility
Note to Self: Embrace what is
Dear Older Self, You have lived long enough to know that life does not always meet your expectations. Sometimes it exceeds your expectations. And sometimes it falls short. Sometimes, it falls very short. When your expectations are exceeded in some way, it is good to be grateful. The problem usually comes when expectations are not met. If you are unable to let go of unmet expectations and … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Embrace what is
Notes to Our Older Selves: Learn to Laugh
Dear Older Self, People close to you told you when you were in your twenties that you were overly serious. But, over the years, you have learned to not take everything so seriously. You have embraced laughter. As you grow older you will need to continue to let go of being too serious. You will need to continue to grow in your ability to laugh. What a delightful assignment this could be! It … [Read more...] about Notes to Our Older Selves: Learn to Laugh
Notes to Our Older Selves: Live With New Limits
Dear Older Self, I know that you will experience growing limitations as you get older. I know because it is already happening. Your energy and strength are not what they once were. For example, you once worked full weeks at work while keeping up with a busy schedule with family and other activities. But recently you have needed to cut back at work. You once jogged several miles several … [Read more...] about Notes to Our Older Selves: Live With New Limits
Notes to Our Older Selves: Introduction
We began writing Notes to Our Older Selves when we were in our fifties. We were in that season of life when it is common to watch parents and elderly friends grow older and become more dependent. We knew that we were soon to follow. As we worked to support those in the generation ahead of us, we were in a position to observe moments of grace and moments of gracelessness. After difficult encounters … [Read more...] about Notes to Our Older Selves: Introduction
Know That You Are Loved
I trust in your unfailing love. Psalm 13:5 After my second surgery my husband and I spent a week at the beach. Both of us needed to recuperate from the many weeks of uncertainty and strain. It was the week of our thirty-seventh wedding anniversary. So we needed to both rest and celebrate. We were no longer waiting for results. We were no longer anticipating the possibility of radiation therapy. … [Read more...] about Know That You Are Loved
Let Yourself Be Carried
He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart. Isaiah 40:11 One summer we took a trip to Maine to visit family. While there, we went to an island off the coast to spend a few days hiking. On one of our hikes, my husband commented on the fact that the trail we were on was no longer a trail but a long series of boulders we had to scramble … [Read more...] about Let Yourself Be Carried
Celebrate Each Day
This is the day that the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 The kind of cancer I had was not life-threatening, but because of the diagnosis, I came to know more directly than ever before that I am not immune from catastrophic illness and death. With this refresher course in personal mortality came a heightened capacity to taste the sweetness of life. Life is often … [Read more...] about Celebrate Each Day
