Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21 The day after Christmas my husband and I met for the first time with the surgeon. She was the one who would tell me what I needed to have done and what losses I would encounter in the process of treatment. She told us a great many things that morning—more than I … [Read more...] about Seek Guidance

Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Psalm 103:1-5 When we think about praying … [Read more...] about Ask for Healing

I am with you always. Matthew 28:20 There was a very real sense in which breast cancer was not something that was just happening to me. It was happening to everyone in my life. But there was also a very real sense in which it was only happening to me. No one else was going through exactly what I was going through. Our suffering is always uniquely ours. I was the one who was facing surgery. I was … [Read more...] about Know You Are Not Alone

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those that hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 When I was told that I had cancer, my body responded. It got ready. It geared up. And not just on the day I received the diagnosis, but every day for months my … [Read more...] about Be Still and Keep Moving

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than the watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130: 5,6 The grocery store where I do much of our shopping has a policy to keep their check out lines no longer than three customers at a time. As soon as any of the lines get longer than this, they call for … [Read more...] about Stay Present in Times of Waiting

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23 Throughout my experience with cancer I often prayed to be given the grace to be vulnerable. Sometimes I was granted this gift, but sometimes—I think … [Read more...] about Make Amends

I will remove from them their hearts of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 11:19 When I was diagnosed with cancer I felt fear, but I was not clear about what frightened me. So I prayed for clarity: “God, I know that I am afraid. But what am I most afraid of? Please show me.” Vulnerability was the word that came as a response to this prayer. Being vulnerable was what frightened me the … [Read more...] about Learn Vulnerability

Let us not become weary in doing good. Galatians 6:9 Sometimes life is mostly about showing up. And sometimes that is not easy to do. My experience with cancer, much like my experience of healing from childhood trauma, was a long series of needing to show up. Showing up to take care of cancer means showing up for doctor’s appointments, tests and surgeries. In addition to these events, I was … [Read more...] about Show Up

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient; bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2 I lost a few nights sleep in the month after being diagnosed with cancer. Usually the sleeplessness was not about my reaction to the diagnosis itself. It was because I was reacting to something friends did or didn’t do. Or to something a health care professional said or didn’t say. I didn’t like being … [Read more...] about Extend Grace

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning the shame. Hebrews 12:2 Shame is that terrible, private feeling that something is wrong with us—that we are somehow defective as a person. That we are irreparably damaged. That if anyone really knew what we were like we would be rejected. A part of the experience of … [Read more...] about Let Go of Shame