Dear Older Self, Beware of your resentments. They are like poisonous weeds that are dangerous to your health and well being. Remember the suffering created by the resentments of an elderly woman you knew? She resented her husband’s loss of cognitive and motor skills. She often became verbally abusive of him. She would shame him for his failing memory and decreased abilities adding greatly to … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Take inventory of resentments

Dear Older Self, Codependency is a term that was originally coined to describe the dynamics that can play out in the lives of people who are in relationship with an addict or an alcoholic. Spouses, children, siblings and parents often think that they are responsible to control or change their addicted loved-one. This belief can, unfortunately, lead to increased suffering and destruction in … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Entrust others to God’s care

Dear Older Self, Gambling is a mood altering behavior that can become an addiction with devastating consequences. Remember that older woman who had inherited her parents’ home? The mortgage was completely paid off when she inherited the property. This made it much easier for her to live off her social security income. Unfortunately, she became addicted to gambling and drew money out of her … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Embrace financial sobriety

Dear Older Self, Aging often brings an increase in aches and pains. Arthritis may set in or get worse. Joints can become worn down. Discs may be bulging. Falls become more of a risk. Surgeries are sometimes needed. Painful neuropathy from diabetes or chemotherapy may become part of life. Slowed circulation in the legs may cause ongoing suffering. If you experience some kind of chronic pain … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Seek help with pain management

Dear Older Self, You have seen it up close and personal. You know the ways that alcohol abuse and alcohol dependency can rob people of their sanity and their lives. You know how it can snatch them away from you. And you know the stories of many other people who have lived this tragedy with family members and loved ones. You have watched as loved ones have lost their careers, their marriages … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Practice sobriety with alcohol

Dear Older Self, You came into the world equipped with the an enormous capacity for wonder, awe and curiosity. Everything was new. There was so much to discover. As an infant you reached for the noses and mouths of those holding you. Then you struggled to crawl toward the object in front of you on the floor for the pure joy of exploration. When you learned to walk you picked up sticks and … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Keep Learning

Dear Older Self, You are probably moving more slowly these days. As your energy wanes and your mobility is challenged, the basic tasks of daily living may take a lot of your energy. This will not surprise you. You have watched this happen to elderly friends and family members.You have seen how this can sometimes cause important tasks to be neglected and begin to pile up. The to-do lists … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Do a project a day

Dear Older Self, As you grow more dependent on others for help and support you will be faced with daily decisions about what you can safely do and what needs to be left for others to do. You will need growing wisdom. You will need to listen to the input of those who know and love you. The more dependent you become, the more helpless you may begin to feel. And this sense of helplessness may … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Do what you can

Dear Self, I imagine that life has changed in many ways for you. And I imagine that many of these changes make it more difficult for you to experience some of the simple beauty that life offers. While it might be more difficult to experience it, beauty still surrounds you. It is in the sun shining in through the windows. It is in clouds darkening the day. It is in the faces of those you love. … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Keep beauty in your life

Dear Older Self, As you experience losses, limits and changes there will be a temptation to feel sorry for yourself. Self pity can be toxic to our hearts, minds and spirits because self pity can lead to despair. So, when you become aware of self pity in yourself please work to let it go. Please remember, however, that learning to let go of self pity is not the same as letting go of grief. … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Remember those who love you and do what you love