Dear Older Self, As you experience losses, limits and changes there will be a temptation to feel sorry for yourself. Self pity can be toxic to our hearts, minds and spirits because self pity can lead to despair. So, when you become aware of self pity in yourself please work to let it go. Please remember, however, that learning to let go of self pity is not the same as letting go of grief. … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Remember those who love you and do what you love

Dear Older Self, I encourage you to pay attention to end-of-life medical planning. You have benefited more than once from elderly family members and friends who did this basic planning. When it came time for someone else to step in and make decisions on their behalf their advance preparations made it possible for you to follow their desires for end of life care. When a family member … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Create an Advanced Directive

Dear Older Self, You have been managing your finances for many years. Sometimes you have experienced the challenges and gifts of living on a small income. And at other times you have experienced the challenges and gifts of having an abundance. In either situation, finances have always seemed like a private and personal matter to you. Money is not something you have talked about much with other … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Include others in your economic life

Dear Older Self, You have seen it happen many times. People age and sometimes become depressed. You know what it is like to see someone you care about suffer from depression. You also know what it is like to watch these same people get help with their depression late in life, whether it was through medication or therapy or some other kind of support. One of your elderly family members, who … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Push back against depression

Dear Older Self, “Get plenty of sleep. Exercise regularly. Eat less sugar and more fruits and veggies. Get regular medical and dental check ups. And wear your hearing aids.” You know the list. You have heard it all your life. Well, maybe all but the hearing aid bit. Other than that, this is just one of those predictable lists of things to which we should all pay attention. Things one should … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Practice self care

Dear Older Self, I want you to keep in mind what an elderly loved one said to you many years ago. It was an important piece of wisdom: “Hang on to your friends, you will need them.” Please pay attention to this good advice. Stay connected to the people in your life. You need them. And they need you. You need your friends and family and neighbors for hundreds of reasons. We are built for … [Read more...] about Note to self: Value relationships

Dear Older Self, Author and blogger, Glennon Doyle Melton coined a word to capture the experience of life. She calls life “brutiful”. It is brutal. And it is beautiful. So, life is brutiful. Life is never just one or the other. There is so much that is hard about life. And so much that is blessed. For some of us it is too easy to get lost in the parts of life that are difficult. It is easy … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Practice gratitude

Dear Older Self, One of life’s great lessons is that much of life is not in your control. It has been critical to your spiritual and mental health and to the well being of your relationships to keep returning to the simple truth that you are not in charge of the universe or of other people. You are not in charge of much of anything. As you continue to age, you will be living more than ever … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Entrust yourself to God’s care

Dear Older Self, We have been exploring the possibility that the most difficult anxiety of all may be the fear of being abandoned by others and by God. You may find yourself feeling like you have been forgotten even by God. These fears of abandonment may come from the thought that that as you decline in strength that you will also decline in value. This fear may be one of the greatest fears … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Meditate on God’s presence with you

Dear Older Self, On September 11, 2001 after the twin towers had fallen and the pentagon had taken a direct hit you listened to an interview on the evening news with Mr. Rogers. The question that was put to him was this: “When terrible, scary things happen, what do we tell our children?” Mr. Rogers’ response was, “We should ask our children if they noticed all the helpers.“ Often when we … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Remember God’s help in the past