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Still You Stay

November 3, 2014 By Juanita Ryan Leave a Comment

You stay with me even when I do not stay, even when I turn away, walk away from myself. You stay with me, though left for dead, abandoned. You stay, weeping beside my self imposed tomb, call out my name, awaken me from death to life with you. You stay with me even when I turn away, walk away from others, even when I close my eyes, my heart, to their want, their … [Read more...] about Still You Stay

You Stay

October 27, 2014 By Juanita Ryan Leave a Comment

“You stayed with me. You stayed with me.” I turn this truth over quietly, letting it calm me, like a cool, smooth worry stone in my hand. You stayed with me when the person I needed most turned away, walked away, left. You stayed. Every time. You stayed. This reality, a gift you spoke into my heart’s darkness, grows more solid— becoming an intimate stone of comfort— as I … [Read more...] about You Stay

Heaven at My Door

October 20, 2014 By Juanita Ryan Leave a Comment

I hear you tapping gently, but oh, so persistently. Your morse code of desire moves in waves from the door to the inner chambers of my being. It seems you are always there, vulnerably offering your self, your love, your goodness. Heaven is standing at my door, seeking entrance and I hesitate. Love is offering me everything and I question my deserving. Some … [Read more...] about Heaven at My Door

Howling

October 13, 2014 By Juanita Ryan 1 Comment

We howled happiness sitting together in the gentle morning light. It was no joke, only delicious delight in each other and living gratitude for so much grace, that sent us silly. Later, when I was still and listening, you took me back to those shared moments of holy howling to let me look again into this loved one’s eyes, and hear anew our glad sounds. “You caught a … [Read more...] about Howling

True Love

October 6, 2014 By Juanita Ryan 1 Comment

You call me a name unimagined, raising me up from the place I have fallen. “My beautiful one, rise,” you say, as you lift me with graceful motion into your embrace. “The rains have stopped. The winter is over. The season of singing has begun. Come, let me show you what winter’s deaths have birthed.” You, True Love, come to us all in this way, naming our beauty, reaching to … [Read more...] about True Love

Morning Prayer

September 29, 2014 By Juanita Ryan Leave a Comment

I give my mind, my heart, my body, my spirit, my day, my life, to you. For all I am and all I have is from you. All are gifts, that I return in gratitude and love to you. To you, Self-giving God, who gives all you are to me and to us all. To you, whose life and love were poured out to us in Christ. To you who comes to us, ever so intimately as Spirit, to dwell with us, in … [Read more...] about Morning Prayer

Your Will

September 22, 2014 By Juanita Ryan 1 Comment

The familiar words spill off the page, falling onto my lap. What? Really? Joy is your will for me? It sounds like pollyanna pretense. It is not how I imagine your will to be, I protest, scooping the words into my hands. Continual joy, prayer and thanksgiving? I hold the words up to you because I cannot do this, your will, without your help. Please, show me how. And so … [Read more...] about Your Will

Open Spaces

September 15, 2014 By Juanita Ryan Leave a Comment

The land stretches far, moving beyond horizons on every side, lying flat, receptive, beneath the great sky. Broken open by farmers’ plow prepared to drink in rain and sun and yield the staff of life. We call these vast open spaces, these majestic plains, the Heartland. And I think, as I fly above them in my mind’s eye, how life’s changes and challenges stretch me. And how you … [Read more...] about Open Spaces

Perfectly Loved

September 8, 2014 By Juanita Ryan Leave a Comment

“I know things aren’t perfect,” she said as an aside, judging the imperfections she observed by harsh standards she holds herself and others to. The wonder, that I noticed with quiet celebration, Lord, was my ability to embrace this truth with gratitude. Not perfect. Yes. But no shame. Only quiet joy. Messy. Healing still. Not perfect. Yet perfectly loved by you. And … [Read more...] about Perfectly Loved

The Ache of Missing

September 1, 2014 By Juanita Ryan 2 Comments

I feel the downward pull, the pout brewing, the demands building, wanting to hang onto what was never mine. I watch as this happens. How I let go and let go only to want to grasp again in selfish greed that would wound us all. Grant me strength to stay with the ache of missing. Grant me the trust of a small child to bow to your will and way in this season of … [Read more...] about The Ache of Missing

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