I don’t have a proper pocket; none large enough to carry your kindness and respect. Your generous gifts slip awkwardly from my hands as I fumble for a place to keep them. I need to sew me some way-down-deep-pockets, big enough to hold your love. ------ For this reason I kneel before the Father. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power... … [Read more...] about Pockets
Filtered Love
I would not be able to bear your piercing pure love if you should show yourself to me directly. You seem to know this and so filter the blazing light of your kindness through human voices and flower faces. A friend’s concern, a child’s laugh, a sparrow’s song are the muted tones and shaded light you use to touch me. Your filtered presence is building a growing hope in … [Read more...] about Filtered Love
Half Sentences
My prayers are half sentences today. Chopped up thoughts, hesitant bits of conversation, spill from my fearful heart. It hurts too much to say it all, to think it through, to feel in one lump sum. Take these incomplete fragments, pearls of pain, string them together on the enduring thread of your love. Make a necklace of my heart’s half spoken cries. ------ Give ear … [Read more...] about Half Sentences
Pursue Me
Pursue me. Break through my defenses. Come crashing through these internal walls that hide me from you. I long to fall into your loving arms. But I cannot find my way through this maze of fear. Come. Find me. Set me free. ------ The Spirit of the Lord is on me...he has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners. Luke 4: 16-18 From Heaven at my Door by Juanita Ryan … [Read more...] about Pursue Me
Dead End
I have came to a dead end. The path I journeyed for years has came to a sudden stop at the edge of a cliff. Exhausted and numb, I sit dangling my feet over the brink. Alone. Bewildered. Stunned that my efforts have lead to this. My mind has lost all sense of confidence and strength. “I don’t know,” was my last sigh. And so, I sit. Silent. Waiting. Undone. I ask, … [Read more...] about Dead End
In Your Name
I am tired of pretending in your name. I am tired of pretending that problems don’t exist, that feelings are to be disregarded. I am tired of pretending that I do not struggle. I need truth, not pretense. I am hungry for what is real. I long to feel passionately the joy and sorrow you made me capable of. I need, in your name, to weep and to laugh, to mourn and to dance. I … [Read more...] about In Your Name
All I Know
All the complex considerations of doctrines, all the debate over interpretations, are like a faint and distant roar to my weary heart. I have no strength to entertain such matters. I have been stripped of my presuming. All I have left is one sure and simple thing. It is this. I need you. This is the sum total of my faith today. It is my one sentence doctrinal statement. It … [Read more...] about All I Know
Agnostic
I feel as if I do not know you anymore. I am agnostic. In this place of not knowing, I sit and wait, wondering if you really are, and if all I ever dared hope about you and your love can possibly be true. You claim to show yourself to people like me. All I can do is look for you and wait for you. But how long? How long? ------ How long, O Lord? Will your forget … [Read more...] about Agnostic
Desperate Prayer
A single silent scream launches with sudden violence from my inner depths and rockets toward the distant steel blue sky. And for just an instant I can see white jet stream forming a vapor link between my stricken heart and you. ------ I will not keep silent; I will speak out in the anguish of my spirit. Job 7:11 from Heaven at My Door by Juanita Ryan … [Read more...] about Desperate Prayer
Dancing and Shouting for Joy as Prayer
Praise the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens. praise him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flute, Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD. Psalm 150:1,4,6 Sometimes we suffer not only from denying and suppressing grief, but also from denying and suppressing joy. Joy, like grief, is a physical … [Read more...] about Dancing and Shouting for Joy as Prayer
