Dear Older Self, Dear Older Self, We have been exploring the possibility that the most difficult anxiety of all may be the fear of being abandoned by others and by God. You may find yourself feeling like you have been forgotten even by God. These fears of abandonment may come from the thought that that as you decline in strength that you will also decline in value. This fear may be one of the … [Read more...] about Notes to Our Older Selves: Meditate on God’s Presence with You

Dear Older Self, On September 11, 2001 after the twin towers had fallen and the pentagon had taken a direct hit you listened to an interview on the evening news with Mr. Rogers. The question that was put to him was this: “When terrible, scary things happen, what do we tell our children?” Mr. Rogers’ response was, “We should ask our children if they noticed all the helpers. “ Often when we find … [Read more...] about Notes to Our Older Selves: Remember God’s Help in the Past

Dear Older Self, Remember the time you stood at the kitchen counter, grinding coffee beans as your mind whirled with the grinder? You were managing the care of an elderly widow and her needs were in a rapid state of change. Your mind was spinning, trying to anticipate what to do, when to do it, how to find the resources. But your mind came up blank. And the coffee turned out weak and … [Read more...] about Notes to Our Older Selves: Write Fear Inventory

Dear Older Self, When you were a young adult you did not know how to receive. Instead of paying attention to your needs, you hid behind a life of constant giving. Staying busy helping others protected you from the vulnerability that comes with exposed needs. Giving to others was a way of guarding against disappointment, hurt and shame. Fortunately you have learned a lot about receiving over the … [Read more...] about Notes to Our Older Selves: Learn to Receive

Dear Older Self, You have been a doer. You have been a spouse, a parent, a grandparent, a helping professional. Doing has been a big part of your identity. And, more specifically, it has been a big part of your identity to do for others. The many needs and tasks around you have kept you moving, kept you busy, kept you tasking. Sometimes this has overwhelmed you. Sometimes it has been stressful. … [Read more...] about Notes to Our Older Selves: Allow Yourself to Be

Dear Older Self, Your 97 year old friend who said, “ I think I am learning to let go of pride, in order to get ready for heaven,” spoke with a clarity that startled you. For her, pride had been a form of defensiveness. It had been her attempt to stay in control by always being on the giving end of things and rarely on the receiving end. Her pride was her attempt to push away vulnerability by … [Read more...] about Notes to Our Older Selves: Be Open To Love

Dear Older Self, You may find yourself resisting the changes and growing vulnerabilities of aging because of fear. But you might also find yourself resisting because of feelings of shame. Shame is that belief that if people knew you fully, they would reject you. It is that feeling that you are less-than others. Or the sense that your needs make you look weak and unloveable. You know how shame … [Read more...] about Notes to Our Older Selves: Practice Humility